


Hold me now, I can't help but want you too

by DefinitelyNotErin_x



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Connor is just mentioned he's not actually in it, Luke isn't even in this i'm so sorry, M/M, mentions of past physical abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 20:50:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7546949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefinitelyNotErin_x/pseuds/DefinitelyNotErin_x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Welcome to Call-A-Cuddle, your number one professional cuddling service in Australia.</i>
</p>
<p>Michael dragged his hand through his platinum blonde fringe, pushing it out of his face as he sighed heavily, clicking on the section for services and prices. He was irritated, partly with Calum for sending him the link in the first place, but mostly with himself for having anxiety which made him feel awkward, and for knowing that human interaction was probably exactly what he needed right now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold me now, I can't help but want you too

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know where this came from. I was talking to my best friend about cuddling services and how cool it would be to do that job and then this popped into my head. It's the quickest fic i've ever written and it probably shows but I'm kind of proud of it anyways. 
> 
> Title is from the Maraianas Trench song "Burning Up" for no reason other than it was what I was listening to when I started writing. Thank you for reading, I hope you like it, and please kudos if you do :) Xx

Michael blinked at the screen of his laptop apathetically as the website that Calum had directed him to loaded slowly. 

He took a deep breath and chewed at a hangnail on his thumb as his eyes scanned over the welcome blurb on the homepage.

_Welcome to Call-A-Cuddle, your number one professional cuddling service in Australia._

_The need for human interaction and connection is something that we all require, and we believe that cuddles should be an essential part of everyone's day - but we also recognise that for some people, that's just not possible - and that's where we come in._

_Whether you feel lonely and longing to spend time with someone who genuinely cares, or if you find yourself sad, depressed, suffering from stress, anxiety, sleep loss or just have trouble connecting with people, our cuddlers are here to help you. We have cuddlers of all genders available for cuddles, snuggles, conversation, platonic dinner dates and movies, and even sleepovers._

_For more information on our services and prices, click here._

Michael dragged his hand through his platinum blonde fringe, pushing it out of his face as he sighed heavily, clicking on the section for services and prices. He was irritated, partly with Calum for sending him the link in the first place, but mostly with himself for having anxiety which made him feel awkward, and for knowing that human interaction was probably exactly what he needed right now. 

Michael's parents had died when he was 17. Everything they had, they'd left to their only child in their will, but given that the law said Michael wasn't allowed to live on his own until he turned 18, the Hood family had invited Michael to live with them until he was legally old enough to look after himself. As soon as Michael turned 18, he used the money his parents had left him to buy himself a nice apartment in Riverstone, not too far from their school. Calum had moved in with him, and the pair had lived together until Calum had flown off to Brazil on his football scholarship. 

In the June before Calum had left for college, the two best friends had hit Oxford Street for a night of clubbing. The tanned boy had sloped off to the bathroom with a dark-haired, long-legged brunette girl, leaving Michael standing awkwardly alone on the dancefloor. He'd turned to leave, but a firm hand around his wrist stopped him, and when he turned back to face the person, Michael was glad that he had. Connor was a few inches shorter than Michael at 6ft, with light brown hair and striking blue eyes that Michael felt like he was drowning in. They'd headed back to Michael's place and exchanged numbers the following morning, and established their relationship just a few days later.

On the very same day that Calum had flown off to college, Connor moved into the apartment with Michael. Their friends had warned them that three months into a relationship was too soon to be moving in together, but neither boy listened and soon, loving gentle touches had turned into violent kicks and punches that Michael tolerated for a full 6 months, until Michael had broken down in tears over a Skype call with Calum, who persuaded him to pack Connor's bags for him and call the police. 

Calum had been relieved to hear that a restraining order had been put in place to prevent Connor from contacting Michael at all, but all Michael felt was empty. Connor had isolated him from everyone he knew save for Calum, calling him names and slowly chipping away at his confidence until there was nothing left but an anxious shell of the boy he used to be - and with Calum being on another continent and his parents gone, Michael was completely and utterly alone and he hated it. Which is how he found himself on the _Call-A-Cuddle_ website. 

Michael had woken up and rubbed at his eyes sleepily as he let out a yawn. He blinked a few times before registering that the clock read 11:30am and let out a groan. He grabbed his phone from underneath his pillow, and saw that Calum had text him an hour ago. 

**From Calum:** _Hey Mike, if you get this before 11pm, call me. I think i've found something to help you..._

Michael sighed and sat up, rubbing at his forehead as he tried to work out the time difference. Brazil was 13 hours behind Sydney, which made it 10:30pm - just enough time for a quick phonecall. The platinum blonde opened up the skype app on his phone and tapped on the icon for Calum. He pressed the call button rather than the video call button - he'd literally just woke up and he looked a mess, Calum would just have to deal with it.

"Hey, good morning sleepyhead, you're just in time!" Calum chuckled down the phone. Michael smiled and shook his head, despite knowing that the younger boy couldn't see him. "Yeah yeah, I just woke up like two minutes ago. What do you want Hood?" he yawned.

"Alright, I'll tell you, but first you've got to promise me that you won't just automatically get all defensive and shut me down, I'm trying to help you..." The kiwi boy trailed off nervously. An uncomfortable feeling settled just below the V of Michael's ribcage and he swallowed thickly, not liking where this conversation was going already. "Okay."

"Alright. So I was hanging out with my roommate James earlier, and he starts telling me about his sister's new job, how well it pays, things like that. And it turns out that she's a cuddler."

"A cuddler?" Michael asks skeptically. "Yeah. Like, you know how some people are paid for sex? Well, these guys are paid to cuddle. There's no sexual element to it. That's actually not allowed, but you can like, hire these people for between 1-10 hours and they'll cuddle you or spoon you or like, talk to you about whatever's on your mind, go with you to dinner, that sort of thing." Calum explained. 

The line stayed silent for a minute, and Calum was about to ask if Michael was still there when the older boy piped up. "So, let me get this straight... You think that I'm at the stage of sad and pathetic where I need to actually pay people for physical contact because I'm incapable of going out and seeking it for myself?"

"What? Mikey no, that's not what I meant at all! Just, I know you're lonely, and I know how bad your anxiety's got. These people are trained to deal with people who have depression or anxiety or whatever, and I just thought... You know what, I was just trying to help you out because I love you, but it's whatever. I'll send you the link on Facebook in case you change your mind."

"I'm probably not gonna change my mind but uh, thanks I guess." Michael shrugged to himself. "No problem man. Look, I'm gonna head off to bed, it's late and I've got early training in the morning. I'll call you at the weekend?" 

"Alright, love you man." Michael said quietly. "Love you too." Calum replied, before ending the call.

***

_Services and Pricing - We offer a minimum session of one-hour and a maximum session of 10 hours. Sessions are available in increments of 30 minutes and can be either an in-call service (at the cuddler's home) or an out-call service (your home/hotel/dinner/movies etc) and cost AUD $85 an hour. Phone sessions are available at a cost of AUD $45 an hour and *must* stay friendly and platonic. Overnight sessions are also available, should you want a great night of platonic fun with your cuddler. An 8 hour session is AUD $500, and a 10 hour session is AUD $650._

_Please note that we charge a small gas fee for all Out-call services, and this fee is paid directly to the cuddler._

Michael raised an eyebrow as he read over the price list, wondering who in their right mind would pay $650 for 10 hours of cuddling. Most of the time probably wouldn't even be spent cuddling, it would be spent sleeping. Or not, in Michael's case - he often laid there in bed, curtains open as he watched the sun rise before exhaustion crept through him and slowly consumed him. Insomnia was a bitch, but he'd suffered with it for years. Laying there in Connor's arms, listening to his heartbeat and the slow steady rhythm of his breathing used to lull Michael to sleep. Michael chuckled to himself at the irony of that fact that laying in someone's arms was essentially cuddling, which sent him to sleep.  
Okay, so maybe it wouldn't hurt to try this thing for an hour. Michael got cuddles, which he loved, and someone else got paid for giving him cuddles. It was win-win. Not that he'd be letting Calum know that, of course.

So he filled out the client contact form and awaited the response.  


***  


"Fuck fuck fuck, this was not a good idea at all..." Michael whimpered to himself as he paced backwards and forwards around his living room the following day. In a moment of madness when he'd submitted the contact form to _Call-A-Cuddle,_ he'd chosen a cuddler called Jeremy, who happened to look at lot like Connor. Now, Michael was regretting his choice as he wiped his damp forehead with the paws of his black sweater, trying not to have an anxiety attack or a full-scale meltdown.  


The doorbell rang and Michael swallowed thickly, putting his head in his hands. "It's okay, you can do this. It's not Connor, it's just a dude who likes to Cuddle, that's it. You can do this. Oh god who are you kidding, no you can't." He said to himself, as he started pacing again. He jumped when there was a knock at the door, and decided to himself then and there that $85 was no skin off his nose, he could just send Jeremy on his way and that would be the end of it. 

He took a deep breath and braced himself as he walked over to the door, hesitating briefly as his hand reached for the doorknob, but he mentally kicked himself and opened the door - only it wasn't Jeremy standing on the other side. Instead stood a dirty blonde haired boy with hazel eyes, with a smile so bright that it reminded Michael of the actual sun.  


"Hi, erm. Can I help you?" Michael asked politely, trying to ignore the twisting feeling in his gut. 

"Hi, Michael right? I'm Ashton, but you can call me Ash if you want. I know you were expecting Jeremy but the idiot went and got food poisoning, so now he's at home as sick as a dog, and I've ended up covering for him. So the agency sent me, which I hope is okay, but if not then I can just go and you can contact them to rearrange with Jeremy when he's feeling better." 

Michael just stared at Ashton, unsure of what to say. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing happened, so he closed it again and just frowned at the smaller boy, whose smile was now fading as he chuckled and scratched the back of his neck nervously. "I mean, I can go if you want? It's not a problem." He suggested. 

"No! No, I uh. I have anxiety and when things change and I don't know about it, it kinda throws me a little and I um. Yeah. Just, come in." Michael rambled, stepping aside so that Ashton could enter his apartment. The smile reappeared as Ashton stepped into Michael's apartment, and the door clicked softly shut behind him. The two boys stared at each other for a few moments until Michael rolled his eyes. "Sorry, god I'm so awkward. Please, uh, sit. Can I get you a drink or anything?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks though. This is a nice place you've got." Ashton complimented as his eyes roamed the open plan room, eyes landing on a picture of Michael and Calum that Connor had taken just before Calum had left for Brazil. "Is that your boyfriend?" He asked, nodding to the picture. Michael turned to see what Ashton was looking at and snorted when he realised it was the picture. "Holy shit, no. Definitely not. Not in a million years."

Ashton cleared his throat and twisted his hands together awkwardly in his lap. "You're not like, homophobic or anything are you? Cos if you are then I'm gonna have to cut this short right here..."

Michael's eyes widened and he slapped his forehead with his sweater-covered hand. "Oh god, I'm really screwing this up aren't I? I'm not homophobic, I'm gay. He's my best friend, my brother. We kissed once when we were 14 and trying to figure stuff out, and it was awkward as all hell. He realised he was straight, I realised I was gay, and we both realised we never ever wanted to do that with each other again." 

Ashton chuckled softly and nodded, looking up at Michael from his spot on the couch. 

"Um." Michael said, shrugging and shaking his head in confusion. "I was just wondering if we were gonna cuddle, or if you're just gonna stay half way across the room like you're afraid I'm gonna eat you. I mean, we only have an hour, but I guess it's entirely up to you. If you want to stay there, be my guest." Ashton teased. Michael scoffed at himself and shook his head, smiling slightly as he made his way towards the couch, perching himself on the arm of it. 

"Sorry, I'm just not used to being around people I guess. I kind of forgot how this works. So like, how did you want to...?" He trailed off, gesturing his hands between them.  


"I'm here to do whatever you want. We can like, sit right here on the couch and cuddle if you want. Or if you're more comfortable, we can go lay on the bed and spoon. I don't mind being a big spoon or a little spoon so I'm good with whichever... It's all up to you, Michael." Ashton smiled. Michael nodded his head and cleared his throat. "I don't think that the bed... I mean, we don't. I don't know you so I don't think it's... Could we like, lay here on the couch? And like, can I be the little spoon?" He asked shyly. 

"No problem, c'mon." Ashton beamed as he laid himself down against the back of the couch and held his arms open for Michael. The taller boy pulled his sweater sleeves further over his hands as he sat on the couch carefully. He hesitated for a few moments before he laid down beside the shorter boy, and the pair wiggled around for a few moments before they managed to settle themselves into a comfortable position. Ashton wrapped his arm around Michael's waist, and the platinum blonde stiffened, causing Ashton to retract his arm. "I'm so sorry, I should've asked, is that not okay?" 

"Uh, no. No it's fine, sorry, it's just that..." Michael trailed off with a sigh. "Just what?" Ashton asked curiously. "Well uh, you don't need to hear my life story, right?" 

"No, not at all, I'm here to help. If you feel comfortable enough, then you can tell me. If not, then, that's okay too." Ashton reassured, opting for the safer option of resting his hand on Michael's arm. Michael took a deep breath and siged, turning his head a little to look at Ashton. "It's just that like. About 3 months ago, I got out of this abusive relationship. But my parents are gone, my best friend moved to Brazil like a year ago, and so it's been a while since I had human contact, but it's also been a while since someone touched me because they wanted to, and not cos they wanted to use me as a punch bag, you know? And like, I don't know if you noticed but i'm awkward?" Michael joked before continuing. "So human interaction makes me feel really uncomfortable and it sets me on edge with my anxiety, so it's not like I can just go out and meet people the way that normal people do. And this is kind of weird because I have literally paid you to hug me, but, it's also kind of nice to just actually talk to someone who isn't Calum. I don't know."

Ashton hooked his chin over Michael's shoulder and wrapped his arm around Michael's waist tightly. "Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to tell me all of that. I know that it's a weird thing to say cos we only just met, but I'm actually really proud of you. It's not easy finding the courage to leave an abusive relationship at the best of times, but it must have been even harder if you had no support network. And I know some people think that it's weird to pay someone to be hugged or whatever, but we all need a cuddle now and then. So if you ever need a hug, or even just someone to talk to, then you can just call the agency and ask for me. I'm a good listener and this is like, half the price of a counselling session, but you get hugs out of it too. Win-win." 

"Thank you, that's... Thanks. This is nice, _you're_ nice. Thank you Ashton." Michael smiled, closing his eyes as he pressed himself against Ashton. He couldn't hear the sound of his heartbeat, but he did focus on the sound of Ashton's breathing, and for the first time in a long time, Michael fell asleep feeling safe and calm.


End file.
